My Uninspiring Meeting with an Inspirational Speaker.

I met my first real inspirational speaker today.

I was sitting outside reading a book and he came up to me and started to chat with me, looking to make an inroad with me to come speak at our church. After introducing himself he went on to explain that he has a message of "health and wealth" that he is trying to spread.

Ok, I thought. Strike two, and we are not even 30 seconds into the conversation. What was the first strike? It was his introduction of himself as an inspirational speaker.

I hate "inspirational speakers." These are the ones Paul talked about in 1 Thess. who "peddle the Word of God." They are ignorant and anti church. They claim to be Christ's ambassadors bringing sweet messages from him. But they are not. They are worms that weasel their way into the church to disseminate the doctrines of demons and cause dissension.

First of all, it is obvious that they could never become an ordained minister. Being so incredibly inept at handling the truth of Scripture they could never hold mustard with a real congregation, let alone pass an examination by one of Christ's truly ordained leaders. They would be shown to be the flakes they are in no time flat.

Becoming a minister takes work, something the sluggards are not willing to assume. You have to be thoroughly trained and given to earnest prayer each day. They certainly don't want to do that. That's not very inspiring. Applying for a 501c3 and plunging ahead in your ignorance is much easier.

Becoming a minister also means being accountable to other men that Christ has instituted for leadership. Ministers are never men outside the church. They are in it because they themselves are accountable to other undershepherds of Christ. But inspirational speakers hate having governance. They don't want to be accountable to anyone. (If they were they would be thrown out!) That's why they typically are not even members of a true church of Christ at all!

Second of all, I hate them for their message. The whole notion of being "inspirational" means making you feel good and giving you a little warm fuzzy feeling. The prophets and apostles (though being truly inspired of God!) were incredibly anti-inspirational in this regard. Their message was typically cold and prickly because they had to preach against the people and their eternal love affair with sin.

Thirdly, I hate them because they don't care about Christ's church. Ecclesiology is at the best underdeveloped with these guys. But have you ever noticed how they float around from flock to flock, but never shepherd one themselves? Typically its wolves that do that.

They call themselves "itinerant preachers." But they don't want to tend the flock, interact with them regularly and succor them week in and week out. They are ecclesiastical terrorists who wage a guerrilla like warfare. They come in, hit fast and then they are gone with the goods. Their aim is not to build up the Bride of Christ. They want to rape and pillage it. If they really cared about the sheep, they would be like a real shepherd whose life consists of living with the sheep.

Needless to say, my conversation with the inspirational speaker did not go the way he would have liked it too.

Toward the end of our time together it got even better. He said to me, "God just told me that I'm supposed to ask you what your greatest need is. God wants me to try to fulfill it." (continuing revelation? Okay, strike three. You're out.)

I asked him, "Doesn't God already know what my greatest need is?" Despite his poor answer, I decided to play along. I told him, "My two greatest needs are wisdom and deliverance from ongoing sin."

Obviously, he couldn't offer any help. So he bid me an agitated, yet cordial farewell.

Later on in the day I realized a greater need--one he could have easily helped to fulfill. I should have said, "My greatest need is that the world be rid of inspirational speakers."