Ecclesiastical Porn

One of the great evils in our day is the proliferation and accessibility of pornography. Why is it a great evil? The most obvious reason is that it degrades women. The lady in the picture becomes nothing more than a piece of meat for men to salivate over.

But it is evil because it also degrades the bond of marriage. God created men and woman to come together in a covenant relationship. When they wed they take vows, pledging "to have and to hold, for richer; for poorer, through sickness and health, as long as they both shall live." In other words, they are not only in it for the thrills, they are in it through the aches and pains. Or, to put it another way, they have to not only put up with each other, but they actually have to strive with all their might to develop and maintain a loving relationship with the other person.

But pornography cuts the relational side of the relationship out of the relationship. When a man looks at a picture he can get everything he wants, but he doesn't have to give a thing. He can get his thrill, but he doesn't have to work through any issues that might arise in a real relationship. He doesn't have to listen to any whining or complaining. He doesn't have to have any tears on his shoulder. He doesn't have to take out the garbage or put the toilet seat down. It is pure pleasure without any commitment.

And is this not what we have going on in the church today? No, I'm not talking about men being addicted to porn (though, much to the church's shame, there is quite a bit of that going on). I'm talking about ecclesiastical porn: getting everything we want from any given church without having to give a single thing. Ecclesiastical porn is when you can get your thrill from a church, but never have to develop a real relationship with the leadership or laity. Its all gratification, but no commitment. As soon as the pleasure evaporates or an issue arises where you don't feel comfortable, you can break it off.

Maybe it is not so much porn as it is shacking up with the church. You know how it is: boy meets girl. Boy moves in with girl. Boy and girl enjoy a few months of ecstasy. All of a sudden a relationship starts happening (girl wants boy to help with dishes, boy wants to go out with the guys to the game but can't because he must go to a baby shower for girl's best friend). Boy moves out.

But do we not see this same thing happening within churches? Christian meets church. Christian moves in and joins church. Christian enjoys a few months of ecstasy with church: stimulating worship, jazzy messages, great fellowship. All of a sudden a relationship starts happening (church doesn't run the way we think it should, pastors don't believe everything we do, other Christians sin against us and hurt us). Christian moves out and finds another, more amiable church with which to shack up.

Today we are seeing that more and more people are simply forgetting about any sort of relationship. No one even considers marriage because marriage means hurt and sorrow. We prefer a multitude of one night stands with an infinite number of people. We prefer the pleasure without the problems.

But the same is happening within the church. More and more Christians think that actual membership in the church is a waste of time. Most people do not even give it a thought. That's because membership means commitment (and that means heartache). But we don't want that. We prefer a multitude of one morning stints with an infinite number of churches.

To be sure, whoredom pervades our churches as much as it does culture.

What we need to remember is that God calls us to a covenant relationship with our local churches as much as He does with our spouses. Jesus was so fanatical about the notion that he went to great lengths to spell out how church members are to deal with their problems (just see Matt. 18). He knows that relationships are messy and often hard to deal with. But he calls us to love the one we are with purely, solely, passionately and without selfish intent.

Yet, God's command is never without its blessing. A true relationship, one that people really work hard to maintain despite difficulties, always pays dividends (marital or ecclesiastical). A church that is willing to work through its problems will also be a more joyous and dependable church. As scars grow back more solid than the initial skin, a church where people have fought and forgiven will be stronger than a church that merely chooses not to fight at all.